Body Paragraphs

Nonviolence is a successful method of bringing about moral change and peace.
People have the ability to change for good, by recognizing their evils and growing from them.
These are the two topic sentences I used for the Gandhi essay. Is this how we split up a thesis into two paragraphs?

I’m not quite sure whether your question applies to thesis statements or organization. I think you’re asking if you could use each of these sentences as topic sentences for two body paragraphs. If so, your thesis should include each of these strategies. For example: In his letter to Lord Irwin, Gandhi defines and describes his strategy for a nonviolent direct action campaign and demonstrates how the British might change in their approach to the Indian people in order to convince Lord Irwin to reconsider the way in which he has previously treated the people of India. (make sure to include something about his purpose).

I’m just having trouble splitting up the thesis statement into two topic sentences. Sorry for the confusion!

This is my thesis: Just before the Salt March, in a letter to Viceroy Lord Irwin, and indirectly to the British people supporting colonization, Gandhi emphasizes the policy of nonviolence as an extremely effective method to bringing about moral change and peace, and explains his belief that people have the ability to change, by recognizing their evils and growing from them.

In the introduction my teachers format is move, move, move, then inform and to persuade, then we move into body paragraphs. Is this ok

The main thing I would add to this thesis is to strengthen your focus on his purpose. For example, what does he hope to accomplish by this emphasis of his policy of nonviolence and his explanation of his belief? You’ve sort of implied it at the beginning (people supporting colonization), but not strongly enough.

In terms of basic organization, this is good, but it needs to show what his goal was.

Example Intro :
In a passage from an account of the 1918 Great Influenza epidemic, author John M. Barry defines the fundamental qualities that a scientist needs to possess and discusses the effort a scientist puts into their research. Through the inclusion of extended metaphors and descriptive diction, Barry achieves his goal, by downplaying the severity of decisions that scientists face and characterizing scientific research. His audience is a general audience that has enough acknowledgment of Barry’s topic and stirs his whole passage around a theme of uncertainty.

Junior435, I would say your intro is good but needs a little more specification of purpose. You say, “Barry achieves his goal, by downplaying the severity…” but don’t exactly specify what his goal is. Is his goal “TO downplay the severity of decisions” or is his goal something else?

Just before the Salt March, in a letter to Viceroy Lord Irwin, and indirectly to the British people supporting colonization, Gandhi emphasizes the policy of nonviolence as an extremely effective method to bringing about moral change and peace, and explains his belief that people have the ability to change, by recognizing their evils and growing from them. He does this to encourage Viceroy Lord Irwin to sympathize with the Indian cause and recognize their independence
Is this better?

Yes, much better. In each of your body paragraphs, make sure you connect specifically to how each strategy achieves this purpose. Good job!

Usually, when I write my body paragraphs, I do not explicitly state rhetorical devices. Rather, I find significant pieces of text that will support my argument. Would this work?

Yes. As long as you are using evidence to show how, for example, Gandhi’s emphasis of his policy of nonviolence helps him to encourage Lord Irwin to sympathize with the Indian cause, then you are accomplishing the task of the evidence/commentary row.

Got it. Thank you! I know it might be too much to ask, but I have drafted a full essay on the Gandhi prompt. My teacher is unavailable to read it right now, and it would be great if you would be willing to provide some feedback! So sorry for asking so many questions!

Sure. I would be happy to read it.

Thank you so much!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dmebvzShAZSsb5CZCL8FU8GJU0lq4Hp4qJvj6Au3HDM/edit?usp=sharing

Please let me know if this link does not work!

You’ll need to open access to it so that anyone can view it (or comment on it if you want me to comment).

This should work!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dmebvzShAZSsb5CZCL8FU8GJU0lq4Hp4qJvj6Au3HDM/edit?usp=sharing

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Thank you so much for all of the help! What score would you estimate a 4/6 would get?

It’s impossible to predict. It depends on the difficulty level of the passage, which won’t be determined until after the reading. College Board has been very careful not to attach an essay score to an exam score.

Makes sense. Thank you so much!

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