Can anyone please tell me what you think of my hipp please

Analyze the multiple causes of and various responses to smuggling activities in the Caribbean region during the late eighteenth century. Identify one additional kind of document and explain briefly how it would help your analysis of the causes and responses.

Document 5

Source: Dominica governor John Orde’s response to the British secretary of state’s questionnaire, 1788.

Question: What trade does your Colony have with any foreign colonies? What commodities do the people in your colony send to or receive from foreign colonies?

Answer: The French Caribbean Colonies have more population than the English islands. As a result, government expenses are less for each individual in the French islands. But the French are nonetheless behind the English colonies in their economic development. For example, the quality of French Caribbean brown sugar is so much inferior to the English that the average price paid to the French planter is about 80 percent of the price paid to the English planter. In addition, French shipping to Europe costs more than British shipping to Europe because French law requires larger crews. This encourages the French to smuggle sugar into the English islands, and have it exported to Europe as English sugar, which increases the French profits—at British expense

Response to this document

One cause of smuggling activity in the Caribbean is due to the fact that if you were successful at it your profits can increase. This document was meant to promote British sugar over French sugar to try to increase trading relations with other nations and it has resulted in increased French profit and decreased British profit. Orde shows this by stating that the British sugar is worth more than French sugar and that this results in an increased pay for the British over the French and this is even to the point that the French have resorted to smuggle sugar to British ships to increase their own profits. Therefore, while French sugar was seen as “inferior” to English sugar, they smuggled Caribbean products in order to increase profit.

This sounds really good and it is a thorough response! One piece of advice that I have been given is to be direct and use the language of the prompt/document. What I mean by this is using words such as “purpose,” “audience,” etc. when you are doing HIPP. This just makes it more clear that you are doing HIPP and which aspect of it you are doing.

Can you give me an example to make it more direct and also what you said about using the language plz and any way to make it simpler please( for I,P,P) please. I’m sorry if these is too much. If it makes it more concise the by all means go right ahead

So what I mean is that you could say “The purpose of this document is to promote British sugar over French sugar . . .” Since one the P’s in HIPP stands for purpose, I have been taught that using the word “purpose” just makes it more direct. Similarly you could start your a HIPP with “The author of this document . . .” or the “The point of view of the author . . .” or “This document was written in the context of . . .” depending on which aspect of HIPP you are using. Also, your HIPP would be a little stronger if instead of writing about the document you write about what is contained in the document. So you would refer to Orde’s response in your HIPP rather than the document. So, combining those two things I would write the HIPP as “The purpose of Orde’s reponse was to promote British sugar over French sugar . . .” I hope that helps and let me know if you want me to clarify anything else.

Piggybacking on Sydney’s response, I agree with using the HIPP (“historical context…”, “[intended] audience…”, “purpose…”, “point of view…” words themselves to guide the AP reader as they go instead of subtly implying these details for them to gloss over.

I would also move the sentence beginning with “Orde shows this by…” right after the first sentence and end it with a citation “(Doc 5)” since it would also work well as an introduction to the doc you are analyzing. Overall, solid analysis on how French smuggling = increase in profit. Keep up the good work, Leon!

Thx Jed

I was also having some trouble with sourcing, and it would be great if anybody could check two examples of sourcing I did. I copied and pasted the documents, prompt, and my central claim into this post. Could you just give me the probability of these two examples getting the point?

Prompt:

Evaluate the extent to which global migration in the period 1750-1900 impacted societies

around the world.

One Main Claim:

Significantly impacted societies by causing political reforms in the form of anti-Immigation laws to be passed in receiving societies due to anti-Immigration sentiment

Hipp Example 1 (for Document 1):
Annotation 2020-05-20 122057

Even though it isn’t explicitly said in the document, many members of the congress, who made this bill have the perspective of government officials elected by the people, and this dependency on American CITIZENS (whose jobs were being taken by migrants) would cause them to bend to the people’s anti-Immigration will and pass acts like this which would satisfy many. This will help these members of the Congress get re-elected. This hidden agenda would be also behind the passing of anti-Immigration bills like this in addition to anti-Immigration sentiment.

Document 2:

Hipp 2:

The author having the perspective of a white Australian man causes him to relate with the sentiment expressed by many white factory workers and miners whose jobs were being taken by immigrants instead of the foreign immigrants themselves and this causes him to strongly be in support of the anti-Immigration political policy called the White-Australia policy. The author’s viewpoint connects to the intense feelings of nationalism (one state, one race) in that time.

Hey Varun. As far as your first HAPP/HIPP/you get it goes, I think you’re pretty much on track. You’d want to make SURE that it’s tied in well to your argument, but taking the standpoint of lawmakers wanting to please their constituents and get re-elected is definitely workable. As far as your second one, it seems…incomplete I think. You bring up “Intense feelings of nationalism”, but just kind of drop it there. Maybe develop that more?

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Would both of them be enough to get the point though?

Also, if I take out the last sentence and replace it with this sentence: Many politicians like Alfred Deakin associating with the predominant ethnicity in their respective countries instead of foreigners due to cultural and religious ties would have caused the passing of anti-Immigration bills like this: would it be complete?

I think the first one will get you the point, yes. The second one works. Keep in mind, the use of the term “predominant” is tricky. it lends itself to the idea of “countable majority”. A better term might me “dominant” or even “leading” or something like that. Is S. Africa, Australia, etc., though the whites were in charge, they were not the larger population in most cases, they just had the guns and the money. Does that make sense?

Yes, thank you very much sir!

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