Can someone grade my DBQ i am new here

Prompt:Evaluate the extent to which indigenous peoples’ reactions to state expansion differed during the period 1750-1900.

During this time period of c. 1700-1900, there were many continuities and breaks which shows the indecisive types of states in this time period and how not everyone will agree on one offer and some will result in enemies. Although the indigenous people sometimes did want to come together and try to make one with the Americas because they believed they had similarities in their enemies like china and japan, they had differences in religion which was very important in this time period. Therefore the indigenous peoples reactions to offers of state expansions were negative and resulted in fights.

The indigenous people were not all the same and as a result had different responses to the opportunity given to them for state expansion. Document 1 is an example of the more than half indigenous people who are on the negative reaction and how they believe that they are their own people and do not want anyone else beliefs or ideas but their own. This document source effects the relevance by showing that the leader is making my point stand out more by showing that the source is only the leader of Ashanti, there are probably people who want to merge with others but the source tells us that it was not discussed there for show people are having differences in the opinions on what to do with the offers given to them. Document 3 indicates the negative effect that ever offering connectivity was taken in offense to some people and resulted in negative ways like new enemies or even wars between states. The historical situation based on the source shows that this offer to state expansion wasn’t positive and is shown that Adowa was offended with the offer of expansion and took it as offence. Although around this time period nationalism was growing and influenced independent movement, it also influenced and sparked rebellions and want in domination. The indigenous people were feeling this way about colonization because they felt their religion and beliefs were important and needed to be representing their ideas.(not specific but is this the idea of analysis?)

Even some of the reactions to expansion were a negative one, even without taking offence or getting physical. In document 4 the Hawaiian are politely declining the expansion and peacefully speaking on what is theirs and they feel threatened by them suggesting to take away what is in their law. The source of document 4 is a huge indication that there were all different types of indeginous people that did not react in positives, if you notice that this source was written in a letter which may have been seen as a peaceful decline, as other documents were proclamations by their armies. This kind of observation can show us that the indigenous peoples reactions were not all negative to an extent, but all the answers lead to one response, the indigenous people did not, for the most part want to expand their states with the Americas. In this time period there were actually many different types of ways to communicate with other states like railroads, national post systems, and even telephone to the fact the way that each group of indigenous people chose to get the point and answer to the Americans can show alot on what their true responses were and shows if they took it in a offence or as a offer they are politely declining.

I’m not going to be very helpful in grading but I do like the route you took with this DBQ. I happened to go a bit of another way but used a lot of the same documents in the same fashion you did.

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Contextualization - missing
Thesis - this is all over the place. I feel like maybe you read the documents and just pulled ideas together without a very clear connection. The question asks for “extent to which indigenous peoples’ reactions to state expansion DIFFERED”. Make sure your thesis CLEARLY states what is asked in the prompt - what is the biggest difference between the OVERALL reactions you saw in the documents? Name those differences in your thesis. Your lack of a focused argument repeats throughout the essay making it confusing.
Your attempts at analysis of doc1 does not really make it clear whether you understand what the document is saying and doc3 your attempt at analysis needs some more concrete information to ground it. What rebellions are you talking about? What was causing their beliefs to be underrepresented?

Its obvious you struggled with this document set. Some suggestions:

  1. Make sure you read the prompt and refer back to it often.
  2. Write a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, use 2-3 documents to support that document (paraphrase them and explain WHY they are examples of your topic sentence)
  3. Try to explain why the author chose to use certain tone of voice or wording to convey their message and explain how that message is relevant to your topic sentence.
  4. Try to find an example NOT referred to in the documents to also support your topic sentence

If you can do that today, you should get a much higher score than what this essay would have received. Keep it concise.

Good luck!

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