Can someone please just grade my Greta Thunberg Rhetorical Analysis?

This is the timed writing I did on the Thunberg Rhetorical Analysis. Please help because I don’t know if I’m truly doing this properly.
The Thunberg Initiative
Climate change has taken the world by storm in the early twenty-first century. It has spurred tragic repercussions on various areas of the earth. Ice caps continue to melt and submerge lands deeper into water. Fires continue to ravage the Amazon and Australia. Many politicians refuse to be cogent, seeing climate change as a clandestine hoax formulated by political rivals; however, the scientific realm has seen fit to galvanize humanity into saving itself. As a result, Generation Z and Millenials see fit to protest and beseech world leaders to assume control of the situation, and hopefully, see to it that the earth is not purged any longer.
Greta Thunberg, in her speech to the United Nations’ Climate Action Summit, asserts that current leaders are not properly assessing the climate change issue, regardless of corroborated scientific foundations for climate change; hence, they are dooming younger generations to deal with the reverberations of their ignorance and callousness. The author’s purpose is to galvanize the leaders to recognize the science behind climate change and to recognize the role they have played thus far. Thunberg speaks in an urgent and accusatory tone for the United Nations Summit and the world at large. Thunberg supports her assertion by appealing to the introspective capabilities of the politicians, referring to substantial evidence of the future’s consequences, and ascertaining that the leaders will be those held responsible should the situation continue to escalate and plunge the world into natural despair.
Thunberg opens her speech with a poignant characterization of the situation. At sixteen, Thunberg has established herself as a leading figure in the fight against climate change, engendering a movement that has captured the world’s attention. She first clarifies that “This is all wrong,” and that she “shouldn’t be up here.” In acknowledging this, Thunberg refers to how politicians, with supposed years of education and analytical experience far exceeding her own, should be the ones assessing the situation, not her sixteen-year-old self. She further accentuates this in remarking that “you [the world leaders] all come to us young people for hope,” and she cements this sardonic situation in disappointment, yelling “How dare you!” Because the United Nations is composed of leading figures of each country, Thunberg views them with a grim and staid expression, condemning them with her effective vociferation. She emphasizes this in asking “how dare you [the world leaders] continue to look away and come here saying that you’re doing enough, when the politics and solutions needed are still nowhere in sight.” She means to shame them into action, not praise their insipid perspective on the matter. This powerful language serves to call them to action rather than hide them in their prodigious torpor.
Moreover, Thunberg does not stray from the harsh brutality climate change has conjured. She elicits her role in chronicling that “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words,” and proceeds to note that she is “one of the lucky ones.” Thunberg observes that she has been spared from the horrors of climate change, in contrast to the “people are [who are] suffering. People are dying.,” and refers to nature’s own wounds in determining that “Entire ecosystems are collapsing.” She sets the scene with her effective imagery, and she then enriches this effect by concluding that “We are in the beginning of a mass extinction.” The urgency of her speech is unparalleled. Whereas Thunberg began with large criticism, she now constructs the situation at hand to display the urgent nature of climate change.
Furthermore, Thunberg calls to the scientific background that is integral to climate change’s existence. She argues that the idea of “cutting our emissions in half in 10 years only gives us a 50% change of staying below 1.5 degrees” is simply not acceptable because it will cultivate apocalyptic consequences on the coming generations. She is resolute in this argument because the leaders maintain a satisfied mien with their work thus far, but she attacks them in her clarification that it will breed catastrophe for her and the world’s future, even if it will not harm them [the older generations] in their lifetime. Thunberg then dissects this well-known option to reduce climate change’s effects in challenging that “To have a 67% chance of staying below a 1.5 degrees global temperature rise…the world had 420 gigatons of CO2 left to emit…;” yet, she explains that “Today that figure is already down to less than 350 gigatons.” The solutions presented are not enough to stop the force of climate change. Thunberg’s assertions are axiomatic with her support of credible scientific organizations, and with this, she segues into her remaining statistic. She believes that “with today’s emissions levels, that remaining CO2 budget will be entirely gone within less than 8 ½ years.” Therefore, there is nothing that the leaders can attempt because the damage has already been done. So, Thunberg continues to chastise their inability to combat climate change, posing a bitter qualm to them.
Lastly, Thunberg elucidates the horrible reality that nothing can truly be done to reverse the brewing storm. She concludes that “There will not be any solutions or plans presented in line with the figures here today, because these numbers are too uncomfortable,” and she highlights that “you [the world leaders] are still not mature enough to tell it like it is.” The blatant ignorance many leaders are exemplifying is what is wielding such a timorous outlook from the world’s youth. Thunberg furthers her attack in deliberating that “You are failing us.” She then expounds that “the young people are starting to understand your betrayal,” and this is illustrated through her own school walk-out movement that has spread worldwide. Thunberg continues to force the leaders to see the music when she says that “The eyes of all future generations are upon you. And if you choose to fail us…We will never forgive you.” She elects to utilize the verb “choose” to staccato the leaders’ unabashed refusal to pay attention. With this, she enumerates that “We will not let you get away with this,” and she states that “The world is waking up.” Numerous nations are beginning to take it upon themselves to protest with Thunberg and draw eyes to climate change’s inevitable conquering of the earth. She concludes that “change is coming, whether you like it or not.” Though the leaders are prostrate in their profligate synergy to ignore the issue, Thunberg stands with the world’s youth in promising that the change will come. That now, it is the leader’s choice to stand with them, or to hide in their transgressions.
Thunberg, in her speech to the United Nations’ Climate Action Summit, argues that the world’s leaders are not tackling the world’s doomed fate in climate change, even though there stands scientific proof to spring them to action; as a result, they are placing the future effects on the coming generations. The author’s purpose is to force the leaders to recognize the science behind climate change and to acknowledge the role they have played so far. Thunberg speaks in an urgent and accusatory tone for the United Nations Summit and the world at large. Thunberg supports her assertion by appealing to the politicians’ introspection, noting the substantial evidence of the future’s consequences, and ascertaining that the leaders will be those held responsible should the situation continue to escalate and plunge the world into natural despair.

Hey Eddie - Overall, you do a nice job of identifying some of Thunberg’s most important writing choices. Your thesis is particularly strong.

One thing you could do to increase your evidence/commentary score is to focus a bit more on the audience. You focus on Thunberg accurately and thoroughly, and analyzing the audience in a similar way would be helpful. Any sentences that begin similarly to this one would help increase your evidence/commentary score: “As a result, her audience would likely…”.

Thanks a lot for reading it!! Out of curiosity, what would you score it then?

This would likely score a 1-3-0. Really focus on my feedback to secure that score and to push for a 1-4-0.

I’m sorry, but how did I not earn the sophistication point? This is actually the first time I’ve missed getting that point in any timed writing I’ve ever done for Lang. Is there anything I can do to earn that?

Your introduction and conclusion are quite strong and definitely help push you in that direction. I’d say getting that point is very possible for you. If your analysis throughout your entire essay focuses on the audience and continues to build your strong awareness of the topic and rhetorical situation, you can definitely get it!

OK. Thanks so much!!! So, to overall improve my commentary, I just need to focus on the audience as much as I do the speaker. And, for the sophistication point, I need to build my awareness of the topic and rhetorical situation overall to secure it. Is there anything else? Thanks so much for doing this!!! I just really want to get a 5, and my teacher has told me that I can do it, but I wanted to make sure that I was actually going this properly, and I really want a 5, like every other student.

Exactly - make those tweaks and you have a very good chance at a 5!

Thanks a lot!!!

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