Rubric Grade

Yo I was wondering if I could have somebody good grade my essay with regards to the rubric,


(that’s my essay)

Hi,

I just read through your essay. There are a lot of strengths to your essay, and a few areas to hone in on before tomorrow’s exam.

Strengths:

Accurate understanding of the text
Identification of some of the most important writing choices

Areas for growth:

I actually don’t see a clear thesis statement. Make sure your thesis clearly states the author’s purpose as well as the writing choices you’ll analyze. I see your writing choices clearly but not the author’s purpose.

I recommend adding 2-3 sentences of analysis to each body paragraph. One way you could easily expand your analysis is by adding a second quote to analyze under each paragraph.

Right now, I’d score this as 1-2-0, but you are a good writer - with the changes I’ve recommended, you can easily raise your score to a 1-3-0. :slight_smile:

ok so I have a couple questions
so my thesis was " Greta Thunberg starts her address with an appeal to emotion, then she goes on and explains what infuriates her with a use of direct statements, and she ends her address with resolutions to the problems with direct diction", how can I make it more clear
and for my analysis I aded two quotes for some of the paragraphs, and I followed the five steps, so what should I talk about?

Be more specific. What emotion is she appealing to (never be vague with emotions-- you later use “infuriates” which is much more specific). She wants the audience to feel guilty, so she “evokes guilt in her audience for their pitiful efforts to reduce climate change.”

The last choice is confusing. Is she trying to resolve the problem with direct diction? I don’t see a reason to use that last device in the thesis. Again, be as specific as possible about what she’s doing. “She ends her address with a threat implying the youth will resolve the problem if the adults continue to ignore it.”

thx!

Yep! Thanks Jennifer!

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