Thesis

When writing a “to what extent thesis,” how would you use the thesis formula: Although x, because A and B, therefore Y.

For example: Evaluate the extent to which demand for industrial resources, including rubber, shaped European imperialism in the late nineteenth century.

Thesis?: Although the initial spread of imperialism was accompanied by religion, because of the demand for Industrial resources, European imperialism was largely shaped by the exploitation of natives for work, and the accumulation of wealth by imperial countries.

To me, my thesis seems wordy, but I don’t know how else to write it.

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Your thesis is very good, it may seem wordy, but it answers the prompt beautifully and also follows this formula really well. I would say keep in mind that you don’t absolutely have to follow this formula. It is a really good formula to have, but there are other ways to write your thesis. For example, I would probably only use this formula if I was planning on writing a counterargument paragraph somewhere in my essay. The thesis would still get the point even if you left of the “although x” part. If you were not going to write a counterargument, you could write the thesis as “Because of the demand for natural resources, European imperialism was largely shaped by the exploitation of natives for work, and the accumulation of wealth by imperial countries.” If you feel that there is a faster or better way of stating the answer to the prompt, then you can definitely do that. That being said, I would keep in mind this formula as it is really good and probably what most people will end up using on their exam.

Beautifully written! :star_struck: I know it may seem wordy, but that’s ok, it’s a great formula to have in terms of writing for the test! Keep it up!

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It’s a great thesis, it’s actually what I would do for WHAP myself, it gets the line of reasoning going that is important and sets up the rest of the essay, and then the although part sets you up for the complexity point. Really, great job!

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