When writing a “to what extent thesis,” how would you use the thesis formula: Although x, because A and B, therefore Y.
For example: Evaluate the extent to which demand for industrial resources, including rubber, shaped European imperialism in the late nineteenth century.
Thesis?: Although the initial spread of imperialism was accompanied by religion, because of the demand for Industrial resources, European imperialism was largely shaped by the exploitation of natives for work, and the accumulation of wealth by imperial countries.
To me, my thesis seems wordy, but I don’t know how else to write it.